Most of the things in my life are analyzed, researched, and all consequences are weighed. Because of this quirk I am extremely neat and organized (I think this is why I enjoy baking so much) person. Also, I am usually a leader rather than a follower. Except when it comes to my personal life.
...Ah, the part of my life that is riddled with weaknesses. If you know me you're probably saying "...What??!! You're not weak." But I am. You see, I have never told another person that I loved them even when I did.
For instance, one person in particular told me he loved me only after knowing me for a couple weeks. In response to his declaration of love, I said "...how can you love me when you know so little about me?" (It would have been an incredibly romantic moment except for the fact that I ruined it be questioning his love for me.) In turn he responded with "What I know about you so far I love..."
My question to you is "...What is real/true love? And what does it feel like?" Is there a magical moment when true love smacks you in face and you realize ...holy crap I'm in love? Now that I have divulged all my insecurities the one thing I am confident about is how delicious and incredibly easy this pineapple crumb cake is.
It's a beautiful and tasty coffee cake to serve to holiday visitors. Also, it freezes well and the flavors of the cake intensify amazingly well after a day. Just dust the cake with a touch of powdered sugar before serving to make it a true coffee crumb cake.
The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy defines friendship as "...as distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other's sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy." The concept of comradeship has been on my mind for numerous months now. I have finally concluded that a wonderful friendship contains mutual caring, intimacy, and shared interests.
For me, mutual caring is the method that I use to say: “I love you”. While, I may not have the courage to tell one in person I try to make sure that the people I care about can feel it. I persistently try to give without ever expecting anything in return. Only when we offer without expectations can one truly enjoy the gift of honest camaraderie.
With certain people, friendship is instantaneously, like my friend K, E, and S. With You, I wanted to be your friend immediately. I found delight in the way you titled your head to the left with a crooked smile and giggled at my dumb jokes. That is why “I loved you”, but you also inspired me with your joys, successes, frustrations, and failures. I want to jump for joy when you are feeling bliss and hold your hand when you are sorrowful. Because I believe when life is disheartening and we can only feel our own misery is when our true friends come to our aid without asking.
Furthermore, it is during the arduous times that an intimacy develops between friends. You shared with me the difficulties of your life. My heart broke when you said all you wanted was “unconditional love”. Like a good ally, I promised you exactly that ...unconditional love. I am sorry that I failed you.
In the beginning of our friendship, I truly believed I was strong enough to weather any storms you had. I wanted to be your life preserver the way K, E, and S had been for me. You asked me not to let you go; but I did. Forgive me, for I was weak and let others influence me about you and I …regret it.
I will continue to believe in your ideas because you have promise and that is a beautiful quality in a friend. I will always remember lovingly how much you smiled when you talked about your dreams and aspirations. When you spoke, your eyes gleamed with happiness, as is if they could no longer contain the joy and pride you felt. I wish I could have captured that moment.
In addition, I should have disclosed to you that not only do we share a zeal for cooking; but also that we have the same family structure and up bringing. However, I was too scared to tell you. It is for those reasons that I do understand where you are coming from even if I cannot admit it aloud to myself.
In any case, I know you are strong enough and capable of overcoming any adversary because you are trained to do so. For I know that you have moved on, but I wanted you to know that you were right about everything concerning true friendship.
Finally, I baked this banana cake with you in mind. It is rich, buttery, and travels well. Should it need to trek many, many, many miles from here. It would be my pleasure to ship this cake anywhere ...just for you.
Most of the things in my life are analyzed, researched, and all consequences are weighed. Because of this quirk I am extremely neat and organized (I think this is why I enjoy baking so much) person. Also, I am usually a leader rather than a follower. Except when it comes to my personal life.
